ЦПƧYMMΣƬЯIᄃΛᄂ

7 APRIL, 2026

Hi diary !

I AM SORRY THAT I HAVEN’T BEEN CONSISTENT FOR A MINUTE , BUT YOU KNOW ME I GET OVERWHELMED EASILY . SO I WANTED TO RUN SOME IDEAS GOING IN HEAD WITH YOU.

I AM SICK RIGHT NOW AND WANTED SOME COMPANY TO HOLD ME STEADY . I CAME HOME EARLY FROM COLLEGE AND EXPECTED MY MOM TO FUZZ OVER ME ,BUT WHO WAS I KIDDING ….

I WAS LYING IN BED THE WHOLE EVENING AND FELT OUT OF MY SORTS. THEN I SAW MY LAPTOP LYING AROUND AND THOUGHT ABOUT WRITING TO YOU, YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MY SAFE HEAVEN BUT WHEN I AM DOING GOOD I KINDA TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED AND I AM SORRY FOR THAT … SO THE TRIGGER FOR MY ABRUT WRITING TO YOU WAS YET AGAIN MY WEIGHT . I AM DOING MY BEST OK IF NOT 100 PERCENT THEN ATLEAST 70 PERCENT BEST WHEN I AM BEING CONSISTENT AT THE GYM AND MANAGING MY DIET BUT MY PARENTS DON’T SEE THAT .

YES , I HAVE BIG DREAMS AND AN EVEN BIGGER HEAD TO HOLD ALL OF THIS IN . I SOMETIMES UNDERSTAND TODE KIDS WHO SAY THEY HATE THEIR PARENTS BECAUSE IT’S SUFFOCATING , CONSTANTLY BICKERING AND GETTING BODY SHAMED BY YOUR OWN PARENTS . I WON’T LIE AND SAY I DON’T LOVE THEM AND MY BLOOD HAS TURNED WHITE FOR THEM BUT I AM TIRED WITH CONSTANTLY WATCHING MY BACK EVEN AT HOME. HOME IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR SAFE SPACE , RIGHT ? I AM TIRED OF JUSTIFYING EVERYONE ELSE’S ACTIONS , ALWAYS GIVING THEM THE BENEFIT OF DOUBT BUT PEOPLE NEVER END TO TAKE ME FOR GRANTED AND BE TOO QUICK TO JUDGE. I KNOW I AM NOT PERFECT MISS GOODY GOOD BUT ATLEAST I DESERVE SOME PEACE AND QUITE TO REST MY BODY AND SOUL .

I MAY NOT BE THE PERFECT DAUGHTER THEY WANT , THE BEST FRIEND THEY NEED , NOT THE ENDEARING SISTER THEY CAN SHARE EVERYTHING WITH BUT THE SAME GOES FOR ME …. I DON’T HAVE THE MOST UNDERSTANDING AND LOVING FMILY IN THE WORLD BUT I NEVER GO ON DISCUSSING THEM AND THEIR SHORTCOMMINGS AROUND BUT EVEN OUR MAID HAS THE CONFIDENCE TO DISCUSS MY “ATTITUDE” WITH MY MOM.

I KNOW I AM NOT THAT PERSON YET WHOM I AM CAPABLE OF BEING , MY BEST SELF , THE ONE THAT I RESPECT BUT EVEN WHEN I TRY TO TAKE A STEP IN THE DIRECTION, THESE ANNOYING OBSTACLES KEEP ME FROM PROGRESSING . AND I SOON FIND MYSELF BACK TO SQUARE ONE.

I AM DRIFTING RIGHT NOW AND HAVE NO ONE TO REALLY LOOK UPTO AND I REALLY DON’T ONE TO ANOTHER GIRL WITH DREAMY EYES AND NO SPINE TO ACTUALLY BE SOMETHING …..